A Different Presence

So - I've been a bit busy.  Like, super-busy.  Life since at least when the baby was born (and maybe even a bit before) has been a whirlwind, and I'm getting overwhelmed.  My husband is always very kind to remind me that we just had a baby four months ago and that will change things, but I feel like the baby is the least of it.  It's everything that just seems to be coming at us non-stop that really has me tuckered out.  Just as soon as we crest one mountain we see that there is still more to climb and frankly, I'm running out of steam.  I've been saying for a while that I've lost my groove but now I'm convinced that there just isn't a groove at all.  It's been overwhelming.

You Just Keep Crying

Like most parents, I don't like to hear my children cry.  My second son was our most fussy baby, and I did not handle his crying very well at all.  I tried countless things in an attempt to fix his problem, old wives tales that never worked, changed my diet, snuggled him, let him "cry it out" - nothing.  The more I tried the more frustrated we both were.  And I've shared previously some of my biggest parenting regrets were during his infancy, when I just could not handle all his crying.  I felt like a failure, I questioned why a God in charge of the infinite universe could not solve my son's obvious intestinal distress.  I talked to therapists who gave completely impractical and unusable advice, and in the end just had to make peace with the fact that this little guy was a crier.