I'm not sure what it's like in your diocese, but in ours it's not uncommon to hear tales of gloom and doom over the uninspired state (for lack of better words) of its clergy. To be fair when I say this, I don't mean that everyone is that way - we have a number of priests who are indeed living very faith-filled lives, and whose liturgies and homilies reveal this. But the general impression has been that these priests are few and far between.
Friday, March 18, 2016
My baby has the most hit or miss sleep schedule of any of my children. It is not uncommon for him to sleep for a week or two straight and then to start waking through the night for the same amount of time (or more). Parents crave routine, and no more so than at night. Sleeping through the night is one of the things we measure ourselves against and with good reason - a good night's sleep can make or break you. So it's not surprising that we feel great when babies are sleeping and lousy when they're not.
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
I read an article last week about a celebrity who did an interview on a late night show talking about her kids, and the crazy antics they get involved in. She said (jokingly of course), that you love your kids, but you don't always like them. And even though it was only a joke, something about it struck a nerve in me. I've met people in real life who have said the same thing and it wasn't a joke. And I've been an angst-ridden teenager who really, honestly believed at one point (even though I'm sure it wasn't true) that one of my parents loved me because they had to but probably didn't like me very much - and it was painful.
Sunday, March 6, 2016
This has really been a grace-filled week for me. I mentioned in my last post that being awake with my baby in the nighttime helped me to recognize my own need for conversion, to handle those situations I think I can't handle with my older children. That feeling of "I can't do this" plagues me not just in the middle of the night with my sweet baby, but also (and honestly more profoundly) with my five-year-old, who continues to act very high strung and babyish. I find myself short tempered and very impatient, in no small part due to the fact that he has two other "babies" behind him. I get overwhelmed when the full size (and volume!) of him is bouncing around, pulling on me, rolling on the floor and shouting like his two younger siblings at times when I need everyone to be quiet, and the fact that my attention is divided already between a toddler and a baby compounds the pressure for me. Nowhere is this more true than at Mass.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
So my current baby is the worst sleeper I've ever had and I have to admit, it's pretty frustrating. Night after night I put him down really never knowing if he'll sleep through, if he'll wake up once, or if he'll be up all night. I watch friends with babies the same age and even younger who are all sleeping with no issue, and I compare my little guy to my own six children before him and it's easy to think, "what are we doing wrong?" I've tried all the sleep training methods, all forms of comfort giving, even nursing doesn't work. And my nightly pep talk, that this too will pass and someday he will sleep, is starting to lose its effect.
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
As I bustled about my morning getting ready to go to town, the weight of this week bore down heavy on me. In stark contrast to the blessed calm of last week, this week finds us shuttling from here to there with appointments four of the five days. Yesterday and today were doubtful that I'd even get out at all, because there are freezing rain warnings and I don't have winter tires on yet. Those are sitting in my basement, awaiting the day when I can leave the van with my husband so he can put them on. As I rushed through getting ready listening to the kids bouncing off the walls downstairs, and the baby crying outside the bathroom door, rushing to get ready for his overdue doctors appointment which I'm not even sure I'll be able to make, I know this is only the start of a very busy week - and it weighs on me.