Overall Improvement

My baby has the most hit or miss sleep schedule of any of my children.  It is not uncommon for him to sleep for a week or two straight and then to start waking through the night for the same amount of time (or more).  Parents crave routine, and no more so than at night.  Sleeping through the night is one of the things we measure ourselves against and with good reason - a good night's sleep can make or break you.  So it's not surprising that we feel great when babies are sleeping and lousy when they're not.

I love my kids, and I like them too

I read an article last week about a celebrity who did an interview on a late night show talking about her kids, and the crazy antics they get involved in.  She said (jokingly of course), that you love your kids, but you don't always like them.  And even though it was only a joke, something about it struck a nerve in me. I've met people in real life who have said the same thing and it wasn't a joke.  And I've been an angst-ridden teenager who really, honestly believed at one point (even though I'm sure it wasn't true) that one of my parents loved me because they had to but probably didn't like me very much - and it was painful.

Ambassadors for Christ

This has really been a grace-filled week for me.  I mentioned in my last post that being awake with my baby in the nighttime helped me to recognize my own need for conversion, to handle those situations I think I can't handle with my older children.  That feeling of "I can't do this" plagues me not just in the middle of the night with my sweet baby, but also (and honestly more profoundly) with my five-year-old, who continues to act very high strung and babyish.  I find myself short tempered and very impatient, in no small part due to the fact that he has two other "babies" behind him.  I get overwhelmed when the full size (and volume!) of him is bouncing around, pulling on me, rolling on the floor and shouting like his two younger siblings at times when I need everyone to be quiet, and the fact that my attention is divided already between a toddler and a baby compounds the pressure for me.  Nowhere is this more true than at Mass.

Midnight Lessons

So my current baby is the worst sleeper I've ever had and I have to admit, it's pretty frustrating. Night after night I put him down really never knowing if he'll sleep through, if he'll wake up once, or if he'll be up all night.  I watch friends with babies the same age and even younger who are all sleeping with no issue, and I compare my little guy to my own six children before him and it's easy to think, "what are we doing wrong?"  I've tried all the sleep training methods, all forms of comfort giving, even nursing doesn't work.  And my nightly pep talk, that this too will pass and someday he will sleep, is starting to lose its effect.