"Jesus realized the intention of their hearts and took a child
and placed it by his side and said to them,
"Whoever receives this child in my name receives me,
and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
For the one who is least among all of you
is the one who is the greatest."
As the kids and I discussed it together, I thought immediately about the relationship between parents and their very young children. I asked them, "Do you think when Paul was an infant, when he woke for the tenth time in the middle of the night he thought to himself, 'Gee, I've already had Mom up so many times...I should ignore this hunger let her keep sleeping.' " (Wouldn't that be nice?) No, they agreed. Babies don't take their parents' needs into consideration. They simply respond (in a very needy way) to the desires of their heart.
I have often thought that parenthood is truly made in these moments, more than any others. Sure the good moments are there, and thank God for them. But it is in the constant responding that we are able to pour ourselves into our children, that we are bonded in a way that goes beyond the superficial. Whether it's caring for a sick child, watching them struggle with a difficult situation, being in front of a very emotional child that you can't walk away from, or any one of the many ways our children are bundles of need at our feet - these are tough, but ultimately what sets our relationship about that of anyone else. Anyone can appreciate the sweetness of a child, but no one loves them like their parents do (and they don't love anyone else the way they love their parents). This bond comes from sacrifice that is, in a way, pleaded for by a child in tremendous need in front of their parent.
Re-reading this Gospel with this in mind, it strikes me that in trying to put themselves in a position of power, the disciples are stepping out of this relationship of need. Rather than recognizing their tremendous need before Christ they try to be self-sufficient. They downplay their needs so that they can become efficient and great, and in this way they hinder how He is able to act in their lives. We too, can be this way. When we downplay our needs and desires, or rush through them because we think we should be more mature about this by now, we are in a sense, removing the possibility of being filled by Jesus. Sure, the selfish part of me would love it if my baby had the presence of mind to ignore his needs in the middle of the night and keep from waking me. But this would remove the element of sacrifice, and the possibility of me being there for him and pouring myself into him. It is in this need that demands a response that the possibility of being loved on a new level exists.
This is what I think Jesus is saying to us in this Gospel. Not that he doesn't want us to be fulfilled or happy, or to have ambition. But that He wants us to be completely ourselves, even in our deepest needs. To not feel that we have to have things under control, or that we can't burden Him with more of the same struggles. When we are as a child in front of Him it is without any kind of holding back. And He, the gentle father, just like every one of us who has children, does not begrudge us these moments. Rather He waits expectantly for the day when we will, in all of our need, cry out for Him. He anticipates it and is ready, waiting to fill us in a way that could not happen unless we had such need for Him.
Let us go out today, as children before the need. Fully aware of our tremendous need, not hiding anything before Him, and trusting Him to fill us up.
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