That being said, expecting a new baby has a way of causing you to re-evaluate your life - mostly because you need to make accommodations for a new little one. Someone who needs to fit into your lifestyle, your budget, and - maybe most importantly - your house! Which in our case, will involve a certain amount of squeezing.
We live in a 1,600 square foot, four bedroom house. Our three oldest boys share one bedroom, and our daughter is currently enjoying the benefits of being the only girl and having her own room. Neither room is particularly big, and with the new baby coming in October we will need to vacate the nursery that our current baby (16 months) occupies. He will temporarily share with his sister, until we have a more permanent idea of room configuration down the road (based on whether the new little one is a boy or a girl).
We are both fairly certain that as long as the Lord is willing to bless us with more children, we will joyfully welcome them. I think we both embrace the possibility that this could be our last, but it also may not. We are only 31 and still have many childbearing years ahead of us. And neither of us want to stop having children. And so, I have never really allowed myself to settle into this tiny little house. For the last few years I have come to see this as simply a temporary home, drifting back and forth between the idea of buying a bigger house, or renovating this one. I check the real estate market, draw up plans for an addition, and dream big. The problem with those big dreams is that they cost big money. Which we don't have.
Recently however, after news of the new little one set in, I came to a small conclusion. A small conclusion that made a big difference in how I see my space in the world - in this little house. We have a downstairs family room, that if need be could be walled off and turned into a fifth bedroom. I am completely comfortable with the idea of our kids sharing rooms and have seen many good benefits from it, and except for an initial trial period when the boys were really young have found even having three in the same room is more than doable. With one extra room I am certain that we could have more than enough space to grow in the future, if God so chooses to bless us. It was an important realization for me - that we don't need something more in order to grow - that we are not "held back" by our circumstances. We can grow and thrive right where we are, with everything we have, which is plenty to be happy.
Our neighbour was in the back yard chatting with my husband yesterday. As Jeff started to share with him how difficult it is to decide what to do when your family is growing (sell, renovate, or keep things as they are) my neighbour's eyes grew wide. He responded with, "nooooooo, you can't leave!" and it was nice to know that we're not the only ones happy with our decision.
And so for now, we stay and we grow. We bloom where we are planted. And we celebrate all that God has done and will continue to do for our little family.
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| Little Mazerolles in bloom |
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