Can We Touch Him?

Once a week I try to bring the kids to weekday Mass, but occasionally that plan can be interrupted if the church we go to has something else going on.  I knew that to be the case yesterday when we approached the church and, despite the lights being on inside, very few cars were in the parking lot.  As I unloaded my vehicle, a kind parishioner approached me and informed me that they were preparing for a funeral, and there would be no Mass.  Since we were already there, I asked if we might be able to sit in the sanctuary for a few minutes and pray with the Blessed Sacrament, which she said would be no problem.

Least Among Us

Today`s gospel reading is a familiar one from Luke,

"Jesus realized the intention of their hearts and took a child
and placed it by his side and said to them,
"Whoever receives this child in my name receives me,
and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
For the one who is least among all of you
is the one who is the greatest."

Where There Is Need

Many years ago, when my children were younger in age and fewer in number, I remember a dear friend (and mother of ten) telling me about how she met the needs of her older children while balancing life as a mother to very young children.  Because when you have many children, at a certain point you find yourself with two very different age groups at the same time.  The littlest children have a way of making sure their needs are met - they are very demanding and dependant, and parents of the very young will find they are on their mind most of the time.  We naturally gravitate to our littles, sensing their immense need and making ourselves available. But older children are a different bunch. As they grow and become more independent, we see them less.  We tend to them less, because they are doing more for themselves.  They don't open up as easily, even when we ask them about their lives, and it can be difficult knowing when to push, and when to allow the freedom and space to open up in their own time.

The Unseen

I am entering into a season of loneliness in my life, again.  I’ve often reflected that loneliness is a surprising and fairly constant companion in this vocation; surprising, because my motherhood not only has me constantly surrounded by kids, but also in contact with other parents as the lives of our children cross paths, and constant, because just as it seems to me I am passing through it, lo and behold I find it has once again crept in.  Under a new disguise, but always there, always the same.

Bring Them In

Whenever I bring home a new baby, it’s always especially important to me to make the younger children in our family feel like this baby is theirs too.  I never ever want to get angry with them or punish them for being curious about the new little one, because I want them to love the baby as much as I do. It is of course, very easy in our desire to protect this new little one, to keep the smallest ones away.  But I worry that will only create pain and resentment, because they are after all my babies too. So instead of keeping them apart, I choose to teach them how to be around the baby.  To touch their toes and not their hands and face.  To be gentle and not rough.  To sit beside Mommy while I nurse and not on top of me.  

As You Love

We celebrated Mother’s Day a few days ago, and for me it was one of the best ones yet.  This is significant, because I have a rocky history with this holiday.   It started with my first Mother’s Day, when we were both new parents and new puppy parents as well. Being responsible dog owners we had our puppy go through obedience training, which was quite suited to her.  We entered her into a dog show, which happened to be scheduled on – you guessed it, Mother’s Day weekend.  Not only did we find ourselves trying to make time for both of our mothers on this important day, but now the dog was getting in on it too. And she totally bombed her show! How’s that for gratitude?

The Bread of Life

I am in a complicated stage of life right now.  I’ve shared often about the isolation I feel in my vocation and the daily living of my life, and while the particular circumstances have changed over the years, the general feeling remains.  I often feel alone, like I don’t really belong, like regular community is hard to achieve in the midst of such a full and busy life (especially when everyone else is just as busy).  Living in the country away from the center of where everything seems to being going on adds a new dimension to this hurt, as I see all around me communities thriving, and feel the pain of being just on the outside. 

Vigil, Darkness, and Morning

My experience of Holy Week this year was very much set by my particular life circumstances this year.  For starters, in addition to being the biggest week in the Christian calendar, it is also one of the busiest weeks in my academic year as a homeschooling parent.  Our children have four major events taking place next week, all of which require a ton of work to complete (and which they have been working on for weeks).  We knew this was going to be the case, and we planned around it in order to be prepared.