2021: A Time to be Generated

Back in the fall I wanted to make my workspace beautiful, so I bought a pair of succulents.  I chose these plants specifically because I read that they do not require much care (watering once a month), and this suits my busy life: I don’t have much to give but I still want beauty.  To my dismay one of them started dying, and I thought maybe plant ownership just isn’t for me.  I began watering more frequently to keep the soil damp, as my plants lost their color and the leaves closest to the soil began breaking off.  Strangely the stem continued to reach higher, even as the base was dying. My husband said this was because it was searching for the sun and, not finding it in the lower part of the stem, it reached aimlessly upwards in search of what it was lacking. I can’t do much, but I can move my plants to the windowsill when I get up in the morning, and this has made a world of difference.  The lower leaves are stronger, color has returned, and the plant is being generated. It has found what it was searching for.

This to me provides an interested analogy for the Christian walk.  As a homeschooling mother of eight, I know what it means to be busy.  I have spent years of my life working just to stay afloat, daily life consumed me, and I found that all I was really doing was just “busy work”.  I was consumed with tasks that seemed never-ending, but in the end gave little life – like that green stem reaching aimlessly, knowing that it was missing something as beneath it things continued to die.

No matter how busy we are, we need to be generated.  And just like the plant, often the solution is deceptively simple.  A small change to our daily routine, that puts us in the sun’s rays and not hidden away in darkness.   Only in our case it is not the sun, but the Son that will bring life to our days.  He will break into the endless cycle of tasks that repeat and fill them will meaning and joy.  He will provide the backdrop for which we can engage in our lives with new meaning and deeper purpose – but even more than this.  He will cause such joy to well up in us that we will be compelled to make time to share Him and what he’s done with the rest of the world.  He will not make us less busy, but he will generate something new in us, so that our busyness does not define us – our love for him does.

If you are feeling tired going into 2021, you’re not alone.  Most of us feel that way.  It’s been a difficult year.  But try for a minute to invite someone into your life who has just met Jesus for the first time, and watch how that transforms you.  We need to evangelize like we need to breathe, like a plant needs the sun.  We need it, because it generates something new in us, to share Jesus with someone and watch them come alive.  It reminds us of why we first fell in love with him, and awakens our hearts.  I have never been more busy in my life, but I have also never been more happy, because my busyness is directed by the Lord.  When we find our source in him he won’t keep us to ourselves, he’ll send us out. We may think it is for others, and that is true.  But is also for us.  We need to share the Gospel, we need to be connected to the love of Christ that generates something new inside of us, and gives us the strength we need to encounter him in any circumstance.  We need friendship, we need community, and we need Jesus. 

As we step into 2021, my prayer for each one of us is that we connect ourselves anew to the love of Jesus, allow him to generate us, and watch where the Lord brings us in this new year.  

How Much Less to Dwell in Me

Yesterday in our Diocese, the faithful were invited to receive Communion for the first time since St. Patrick's Day, when the last Mass took place and churches were closed in accordance with Government guidelines to prevent the spread of Covid 19.  I was surprised by the mix of emotions I had as we received Him in this unusual way.

Snow in April

"Mom, it's snowing!" the kids announced shortly after lunch.  Today was a heavy day.  For no real reason, I just felt the weight of everything.  I was easily distracted, unmotivated, had difficulty focussing.  Daily tasks piled up, homeschooling was way behind schedule, and I felt everything.  My husband, knowing how good it is for me to get out and clear my head, suggested I go out for a run.  But I didn't want to.  It was snowing in April.

What the Sign Indicates Really Happens

"This is the height which Christ reached as Lord of history. In His Resurrection, He has set the terms of assimilation to Himself, of His glory, of His making explicit that in Him all things consist, everything belongs to Him.  The assimilation of Christ brought about by Baptism is the Resurrection of Christ that penetrates history; it is the Body of the risen Christ that grows ever more according to the times of the Mystery of the Father.  And the gesture that makes the new creature possible, the one re-made by the power of God and therefore capable of new things, is the Eucharist, viaticum, food for the journey, true nourishment for the person and for his hope.  In this gesture, in giving Himself, Christ continues to bring man to perfection in Himself.  Under the sign of matter, what the sign indicates really happens - Christ becomes one with me.  An unimaginably profound ontological relationship is truly communicated to our life in a sign."  (Msgr. Luigi Giussani).

Do Not Spare Us

I have been reflecting over this Easter Triduum what a grace it has been that I still have a domestic church to live my faith with.  It has been a real comfort to still gather the kids, and even the small annoyances of trying to plan meaningful gestures with kids become a comfort, because they make them more real and true to what we would have been living if churches had not been closed.  We have been almost as busy during this last week as we normally are, and in many ways this has been a blessing, because it connects us to the universal church.  In many ways, we have not missed too much.

Prepared in Haste

In his homily for Holy Thursday, our Bishop spoke of the first Last Supper being prepared in haste.  The apostles thought they were preparing the usual Passover meal, but then Jesus transformed it into something new that they could not have expected. He gave them His very Body when He instituted the Eucharist, established the priesthood, and gave us the possibility of sharing in this meal with Him every day since that day.

A Different Kind of Easter

This morning while I was out for a run, I thought: next Easter is going to be amazing. We are so fortunate in our diocese that our Triduum Masses will be livestreamed, but of course, it's not the same.  Many like us look forward to attending and participating in the Easter liturgies, and not being able to be there in person to receive the Blessed Sacrament and be united with our fellow parishioners and our pastors is sure to leave a big hole in our celebrations this year. If we pretend that it will not, we are fooling ourselves.

Finding Jesus in the Temple

After a crazy day at home, I snuck away for a quick run just before supper. I pray the rosary when I run, because the Blessed Mother is the perfect running companion, and today being Monday, I prayed with the joyful mysteries. 

One Week Down

And what a week it's been!  This time last week, I was preparing to take my son to his piano lesson and go to Mass at a nearby parish, when Jeff advised I should probably call to make sure Mass wasn't cancelled (it was). I made the decision then to do piano by video call instead (which we did the following day - it was such an infusion of normalcy and beauty in an otherwise chaotic time!) And I cried when I tried to update our calendar, ultimately choosing not to erase all the events we were certain to miss for the foreseeable future.  My friends, a lot has changed since then.

Day Two - Sorrow and Hope

We are on our second day of social distancing, following the recommendations of our local government (like most of the people in our province, thank goodness).  Yesterday went much like it usually does.  To be honest, not much will change in our day to day, except that we can't see any of our friends or family.  As we homeschool, that remains the same. Our oldest two, who were homeschooled right up until two years ago, easily reverted to the old routine of working alongside their siblings (and only put up a minor fuss when, apparently talking to some classmates through the day, they discovered that not every student had to keep up with school work this week!  Sorry boys, that's what happens when you're the child of a homeschooler 😉). Today however, is when things began to sink in.

Salvator Mundi

In our diocese, the Bishop has announced that after this week, much like the rest of the country, there will be no weekend Masses to help limit the spread of the Covid-19 virus. So this morning we all arrived in silence.  The usual comradery and social pleasantries were eerily absent from our typically social country parish.  At the end of Mass, the plates of sweets laid out for our customary after-Mass social remained covered in plastic, as people who normally congregate in the lobby quietly walked to their cars, emptying the church almost immediately.  Going to Mass this morning felt very much like Good Friday, which I remarked to my husband. His reponse was that we are almost more solemn than Good Friday.

Christ, the only Certainty

It has been a crazy week.  The developments as Covid 19 spreads, and we continue to learn and adjust, certainly carry the possibility to induce fear. In fact I find, it takes effort not to succumb to it.  Just one week ago what seemed so far off is now imminent, causing us to cancel gatherings and watch as grocery shelves go empty and people prepare.  What is one to make of all of this?

(Imperfect) Rules for Running - And for Life

I have been a runner for a little over a year now, and it is always remarkable to me the lessons I learn about running, that are also applicable to life in general.  Here, in no particular order, are a few of the things that generally strike me while I’m out on the roads.

In Secret

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent.  And of course, the familiar reading about how we are to enter this season of fasting:

"Do not be like the hypocrites,
who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners
so that others may see them.
Amen, I say to you,
they have received their reward.
But when you pray, go to your inner room,
close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you."

Can We Touch Him?

Once a week I try to bring the kids to weekday Mass, but occasionally that plan can be interrupted if the church we go to has something else going on.  I knew that to be the case yesterday when we approached the church and, despite the lights being on inside, very few cars were in the parking lot.  As I unloaded my vehicle, a kind parishioner approached me and informed me that they were preparing for a funeral, and there would be no Mass.  Since we were already there, I asked if we might be able to sit in the sanctuary for a few minutes and pray with the Blessed Sacrament, which she said would be no problem.

Least Among Us

Today`s gospel reading is a familiar one from Luke,

"Jesus realized the intention of their hearts and took a child
and placed it by his side and said to them,
"Whoever receives this child in my name receives me,
and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
For the one who is least among all of you
is the one who is the greatest."

Where There Is Need

Many years ago, when my children were younger in age and fewer in number, I remember a dear friend (and mother of ten) telling me about how she met the needs of her older children while balancing life as a mother to very young children.  Because when you have many children, at a certain point you find yourself with two very different age groups at the same time.  The littlest children have a way of making sure their needs are met - they are very demanding and dependant, and parents of the very young will find they are on their mind most of the time.  We naturally gravitate to our littles, sensing their immense need and making ourselves available. But older children are a different bunch. As they grow and become more independent, we see them less.  We tend to them less, because they are doing more for themselves.  They don't open up as easily, even when we ask them about their lives, and it can be difficult knowing when to push, and when to allow the freedom and space to open up in their own time.

The Unseen

I am entering into a season of loneliness in my life, again.  I’ve often reflected that loneliness is a surprising and fairly constant companion in this vocation; surprising, because my motherhood not only has me constantly surrounded by kids, but also in contact with other parents as the lives of our children cross paths, and constant, because just as it seems to me I am passing through it, lo and behold I find it has once again crept in.  Under a new disguise, but always there, always the same.

Bring Them In

Whenever I bring home a new baby, it’s always especially important to me to make the younger children in our family feel like this baby is theirs too.  I never ever want to get angry with them or punish them for being curious about the new little one, because I want them to love the baby as much as I do. It is of course, very easy in our desire to protect this new little one, to keep the smallest ones away.  But I worry that will only create pain and resentment, because they are after all my babies too. So instead of keeping them apart, I choose to teach them how to be around the baby.  To touch their toes and not their hands and face.  To be gentle and not rough.  To sit beside Mommy while I nurse and not on top of me.  

As You Love

We celebrated Mother’s Day a few days ago, and for me it was one of the best ones yet.  This is significant, because I have a rocky history with this holiday.   It started with my first Mother’s Day, when we were both new parents and new puppy parents as well. Being responsible dog owners we had our puppy go through obedience training, which was quite suited to her.  We entered her into a dog show, which happened to be scheduled on – you guessed it, Mother’s Day weekend.  Not only did we find ourselves trying to make time for both of our mothers on this important day, but now the dog was getting in on it too. And she totally bombed her show! How’s that for gratitude?