That all changed when a close friend of ours returned to Saint John from a few years living in the U.S. He had not intended to come back here and was in fact, quite bitter about it. Feeling isolated as we did, he began to visit us quite often. This friendship came at a very crucial time when the three of us (me, Jeff and our friend), though on very different walks of life, were experiencing a common emptiness, a desire to go deeper. Our weekly meetings gradually grew into an organized group, and a few more people started to come, such that now we host a School of Community meeting in our home once a week. There are a few people who have been dedicated to coming every week, and for Jeff and I the consistent friendship and community have really made a world of difference.
Our kids are older too, and through them and their experience we find a whole new community. In my earliest years of homeschooling I did a few outings with groups, but in the last year a co-op that meets biweekly was formed, and this has been really great - not only for us Moms, but also our kids. We see now our children cultivating this same community among themselves, and it really is a blessing to see.
If you are in a season of life where you feel like your friends are all gone, take heart! Things won't always be as difficult as they are right now. Seasons change, people grow, and as time goes along you will find the Lord blessing friendships old and new alike. Be open and aware to the people God leads into your life, and I promise you - built on a common love of the Lord a community is bound to find you. It may be the last person you expect, or it may not, but give your desires to Him and He will take care of you.
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Friends again!
First published March 9, 2008
Last week one of my friends invited me to join her and some other girls for her birthday supper after the LifeTeen mass last Sunday. I looked forward to it all week, because I don't get much opportunity to see my friends. But when Sunday rolled around, both Jeff and I had this strange flu-like sickness that left us weak at times, hot or cold, and achy, and at other times fine. All day I debated whether I was going out after mass or not, but hated the thought of cancelling. I had cancelled on friends several times recently, and worried that people would stop inviting me if I always pulled out.
Last Sunday it also snowed quite a bit, and since our snowblower is broken, that means Jeff or I had to shovel. I don't mind shovelling, and since we were both feeling crappy, I offered to go out first and do as much as I could, and then he could finish what I couldn't. The plan was to only shovel what we needed to get out the driveway. But when I got out, I felt a million times better. I like to be outside shovelling because it gives me a rare bit of quiet time. I liken it to sitting down and reading a good book, except instead of words in a book, I'm listening to my own thoughts. And instead of sitting, I'm getting a workout. Plus, if I hear one of the kids crying inside, I don't have to rush over to get them. It's wonderful!
So lost in my own little world, I did the entire driveway. I felt very proud of myself, and I know Jeff was happy not to have to shovel. I came inside feeling completely rejuvenated, and thinking that maybe all I needed was a little fresh air. That is until I got all my winter clothes off - I think I ended up overdoing it with the shovelling. I was shaking, and achy, and freezing despite the 23 degree temperature in the house. I knew I wouldn't miss mass, but going out after was really looking like it wasn't going to happen, especially since Jeff also wasn't feeling good and would have to bring the boys home by himself. I told him he didn't have to come to mass if he wasn't feeling up to it, because I knew that my mom was coming and could help me with the boys. I don't think he would have come, but he felt bad that I might have to miss my outing, so he came anyway. I approached it with a "wait and see" attitude, in that if I felt up to it after mass, I would go out. I really didn't want to miss it, but our health really seemed to be standing in the way.
Getting ready for mass, we moved around like people three times our age. It was pathetic! We missed half of mass, and everything seemed to be set up to make us not go. But we went anyway and an amazing thing happened - by the end of mass, we both felt great. Not only did I go out with the girls, but Jeff got invited to go out with the guys as well. And since my mom was at mass, we sent our older boys home with her and just picked them up later.
Jeff and I have been feeling really isolated lately, and it was great to feel like we had friends again. I love being a wife and mother, and I even love living in the country, a ferry ride away from the city. But it's easy to get so caught up in your daily responsibilities that you become disconnected from your friends. Looking back, I think there was alot of warfare going on in our house last Sunday. Something was trying really hard to keep us from going to mass, because they knew how much good would come from it. But God, working through the selflessness of my husband who, though he was sick, went to mass and was willing to bring the kids home by himself so that I wouldn't miss an opportunity to go out with my friends, made sure that we got there - late as we were. We've since come out of our rut, and decided to go to that mass every week so that we can become part of our old community again. It's so good to have friends again!
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| "I get by with a little help from my friends!" |
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