Six years ago it was a little easier for me to get used to the daily interruptions of motherhood. Now I have twice as many children and infinitely more interruptions, and this has become the single biggest challenge of my life. How to function in a world when finishing a job, a task, a sentence, a complete thought, without being interrupted seems like such a luxury. It seems like a daily assault on my senses, and never ceases to remind me of how impatient I am.
I have been reading the book My Sisters The Saints, and the author describes learning of St. Thérèse of Lisieux in a way that is powerfully relevant for me. She said that Thérèse, herself a woman of deep impatience and quick temper (a woman I can relate to!) found in the people closest to her the surest route to Heaven. She saw them as conduits of God's grace, and that by meeting them where they were and treating them with love and kindness no matter what her disposition was, she truly was embracing Christ. Such a powerful thing, and something I have so far to grow in. But as I read these words of long ago it makes me truly grateful for each of these little people, who interrupt me unceasingly, and who draw me out of myself and closer to God. It's hard, oh so hard, most days. But it is my surest route to Jesus, and for that I am truly thankful.
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Lest I Forget
Originally published March 19, 2008
Lest I forget that I’m still a mother, I was interrupted from my morning prayer today by one of my little angels. I could hear Jeff coming downstairs, and thought “here comes the love of my life”. As I saw his shadow approaching on the open door, I was trying to think of something sweet to say to him, but when he came around the corner I saw that he was holding Stephen. I said to the baby “no you didn’t!” because he usually doesn’t wake up so early. Nevertheless, Jeff handed him to me so he could go get ready, and I thought I would make the most of it. It’s hard to be angry with Stephen when he wakes up in such a happy mood. I planned to just finish my prayer time with Stephen, since nothing could inspire prayer better than a sweet little baby. But after a few moments of gushing over him, I quickly noticed, or rather smelled, the reason he woke up so early. And since I didn’t have any diapers downstairs, I had to come upstairs and take care of him. Sigh, interrupted!
You might think that there was no going back to a peaceful, quiet prayer time for me. That was my fear too. Thankfully, that’s not how it went. Once he was cleaned up, I left him upstairs in his exersaucer and went downstairs to resume my prayer time, which was now filled with the coo’s and giggle’s of a happy baby. How glorious! I appreciate him so much for his independence, and the amazing way that, though a baby, he never requires more of me than he needs. When my prayer time was over, I returned to nurse him, so thankful for such a great baby. Lest I forget that I am indeed a mother first. What a joyous life it is!
You might think that there was no going back to a peaceful, quiet prayer time for me. That was my fear too. Thankfully, that’s not how it went. Once he was cleaned up, I left him upstairs in his exersaucer and went downstairs to resume my prayer time, which was now filled with the coo’s and giggle’s of a happy baby. How glorious! I appreciate him so much for his independence, and the amazing way that, though a baby, he never requires more of me than he needs. When my prayer time was over, I returned to nurse him, so thankful for such a great baby. Lest I forget that I am indeed a mother first. What a joyous life it is!
The sweetest of distractions |
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