How I do it

 A few nights ago, it was just me and the kids.  I've been in this situation many times before - arriving home from work by myself, after picking everyone up at the babysitter's, greeted by the need to prepare supper and get all the kids ready and off to bed by myself, all the while in my third trimester of pregnancy.  The only thing that changes is the number of children I have underfoot.  Or is it?

The other thing that is drastically different is how much I've come to enjoy this time with the kids.  You could say it's because I'm working all day and I've missed them, but that wouldn't be enough.  Because any other time I've been in a similar situation, I've been so overcome with the stress of everything that falls into that small window of time between 6 and 8 pm that to make it through without pulling my hair out is a huge accomplishment.  Every time Jeff would mention that he had to work late, I would dread it.  The mere thought of what awaited me on those days exhausted me.  And now, with one extra child running around, I can honestly say I am thankful these kinds of days are so much different.

I have a theory - and I don't think it's that I've gone crazy (which might be what you would be inclined to think!)  I have tried not to keep it a secret how much patience has been an ongoing struggle for me.  People always say "I don't know how you do it!"  But the more I think about it, the more I don't know how I did it before.  Because I find that the more children I have, the easier things are getting.  True, there's the fact that now there's a group of them to entertain each other.  But there's also the fact that the way to grow in an area is to challenge yourself.  Marathon runners don't wake up one day and run an entire 26 miles - they train, discipline themselves, push themselves farther than they think they can, until one day they can do what had previously seemed impossible.  Like running a marathon.  Or getting through supper time and bedtime and not only keeping my sanity, but actually enjoying myself.

We all have our own personal marathons.  And like athletes, we will never get anywhere if we don't train.  I am not resentful of the increased workload my life has brought me.  In fact, I am grateful for it.  Because without the challenges I have faced and will continue to to face as my family increases in size, I would never know what I was capable of.  And I don't want to sit on the sidelines, I want to finish that marathon!

You may not know how I do it with four children, but  I don't know how I did it with less!